Dear Yes Dear:
Please allow me to say hello to you with my voice! I am EDITOR NATE PRITTS writing with a special proposition only for someone with your name because of how it was uncovered in a secret document. About money! Yes, please read on. I would like to transfer to you, at no charge and for all of your own use, the new issue of H_NGM_N. Please respond to me by clicking this link here in the next word – http://www.h-ngm-n.com - & you will be transported immediately to the secret trove of literature that was left to you by your dearly beloved dead relative you do not know.
What’s more is that there is even more! If you were to considering sending me the sum of $6 US, I would surely then find myself putting in the mail to you a copy of the last will and testament of your dearly beloved dead relative you do not know. The title of this tome is WHO COULD FORGET THE SENSATIONAL FIRST EVENING OF THE NIGHT by Julia Cohen and she is even not dead as I write this! And it is not even a will but really a chapbook of really terrific & ultimately edifying poems!
You could do worse than this and I’m not only kidding about that but also I am telling a quiet kind of truth that makes you want to spend money on things. Things like this! Even if they are free.
Please act now before the government of England claims all of this money & prize. Please exercise your right and use the finger on your hand to manipulate the computer clicking device and bring yourself to the new issue of H_NGM_N that you need.
Yours most sincerely,
Nate Pritts, Editor in Chief.